a sAd-sOrRy sTaTe, sTuDdEr sTeP..

1032

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 02:42:43 GMT

Take, take these words in.
Take them like you did
that foreign excitement.
You bleed lust.
Choke.
So was it worth it?
Did you get what you wanted?
the silent type..
Did you even come close?
did they let you taste it?

I can see how the rush
and the heat
and the t-touch of a stranger gets you going.
You're feeling selfish
you've got the urge.
Don't bother keeping your heavy breathing down
for the one who can't hear you scream.

Never pass of your guilt lines
just wear them like a noose on your neck
I'll help you keep it tied tight.

When you feel your close to cumming
just think about that perfect subtle demon
that you've been dreaming into the light
keep it tied tight.

Unlike the way you've become "city feature"
you'd love to let them rip you apart
rinse & repeat
until you feel clean
but when it's over he won't
take back
what is left.

I can see how the speed
and the sting
and the wings
of the plane home
make you nervous.
Oh, Mr. Shoddy Content
swept all your dignity
under the covers
she'll be lying
keeping secrets.
& keeping quiet.

Now you understand what it's like to dive.
Take it back, taken back, she forgets you.
Now she pleads
"Forgive me again, it's the last time I will..."

Never pass of your guilt lines
just wear them like a noose on your neck
I'll help you keep it tied tight.

You're the worst actor that I've ever seen
but if this script called for liars
you'd play the lead.

"When you've changed, I'll change"
what it's like again.
What you don't see while you sleep..
3 year deciever
you're not fooling..

Never pass of your guilt lines
just wear them like a noose on your neck
I'll help you keep it tied tight.
you're the worst actor that I've ever seen
but if this script called for liars
you'd play the lead.

muahaha

Sat, 12 Mar 2005 04:04:09 GMT

hahaha.. look who it is.

Yep, I'm back from the dead my friends. My computer up and broke on me like a month ago and I just got it back yesterday. Ü yay. It's such a bugout being online again. I feel like I've been cut off from the world for so long. I kept myself pretty busy though without the online. I worked a lot but now that softball started .. only saturdays. I think I'm going to change my schedual again to 6-10 during the week or something since we get out of softball at like 4:30 i feel like a waste of life and I could be making money so yeah. Plus I miss all my loves at work.

Softball has been really good so far. Everyone gets along and I have so much fun just hanging out at practice. It blows because once Stallone starts coming it's going to change but whatever. I'm not letting any of the stuff bother me this year. haha, already running out of things to talk about. I don't know how I used to update multiple times a day.

bye <3

~~[desufnoc]~~

-; & iT's [CrUeL] bUt ..hE's g0T a gO0d _hOLd oN mE *

Thu, 27 Jan 2005 04:17:12 GMT

uh.. hey.

whats up. right on. lol no update here.. HAHA. talk/talking to soo many randoms online. weird world, eh?

p*

Mon, 03 Jan 2005 03:53:14 GMT

yo yo.

just a quick update.

life is pretty good. been partying it up lately a lot haha, represent. new years was crazy. samk picked me and sam up around 9:30 and i started drinking as soon as i got in the car. what a rebel. went to wallington first to sarah's and those girls are awesome so that was cool. stayed there for a little then it was off to the next party. we went to washington township to my friend from abercrombie chris's friends house. that was.. interseting lol. those girls loved us but it was all good. hi-c & champane on the ceiling. hoods up holler. after that we went to lodi to brian's (abercrombie) house. fun times. me and samk played some beer pong but lost and idk.. it was just a really fun time lol. party hopping seems like it would suck but it really was crazy instead lol. i slept at sams and went to work the next morning at 1O. everyone was shottttttt. it was great lol. i swear to god i think i was still drunk. so fun lol. yeh.. idk i dont really feel like talking about everything else i've been doing. just living it up and having a great time with my favorite sluts <3 so yeah.

on a sad note:
today i found out that my godfather died. he was pretty old and stuff but it was still very upseting. he was awesome and so funny. its kinda weird since i just saw him at christmas and stuff and he seemed fine. i think he had a heart attack and died like wednesday night or thursday morning and since no one had heard from him his son went to see him today and found him. so sad. my grandpa is soo destroyed. after my grandma just passing away in september and now his best friend. he was like hysterical and saying "i'm all alone". i hate seeing him like that. i think that was one of the hardest part about when my grandma died.. seeing him so upset. eh.. it just sucks. nice way to start off the year and i'm getting used to the fact that everyone leaves. family, friends, everyone.. they leave sooner or later and it just makes me appreciate everyone that is still here..

:P

Sun, 19 Dec 2004 02:58:35 GMT

yo yo whuttup bitches! ;D

how's life kids? haha.. i haven't updated in like twelve million years, eh? yeah, that's because my computer REALLY hates me. like, "i hope you get anal warts" hates me. eh.. gay. whatever. i'm at samuel's house right now. the jump off dawgs. haha.. gonna party it up tonight. hollister then possibly abercrombie lol. yeh, loving that company. i've been pretty busy lately. school, home, homework, work, home, sleep. that's basically it. i'm sick and i have been forever and it sucks. can't get rid of this damn thing. school's really gay. not so much the work just waking up and hm, 2 or 3 of the people lol. yeh yeh. g-a-y. ;P i don't worry about it much though. um, i don't really have anything else to talk about so yeh.. i'm peacin. PEACE OUT HOMESLICE. <3

Wed, 17 Nov 2004 22:03:09 GMT

hey kids what is good.

lets see, monday was alright i believe. school was okay and then work was alright too. yesterday was good. just chilled at school. i got $1O from katie my love for wearing this dress thing that is jt's sisters or something. haha it was fun. i wore it in gym and art and was jumping around. made me feel all young lol. when i was walking to art everyone was looking at me so funny it was great. work was alright. i learned how to do register. woo hoo, i feel like i'm so much more productive knowing how to do it lol and it makes time go by soo much faster so that's fun. ;o] smakface aka FRANK and my love kelly came in a visited me! ;D yayyy. today definitely blew ;o\ the first half of the day was alright i guess. gym was okay, i'm a hardcore handball goalie lol. funn. art was alright, i'm finally almost done with my carebear. yay. after school me and sam went to wendys so i could get a frostie, i dropped her off and then went to the mall. i got an outfit at abercrombie and got boooooots at bakers. funnn. after that i broke up with will ;o\ boo. i hate breaking up which is my reason for normally not even bothering to get into relationships lol. with everything i've been going through these past couple of months, it was just a realllllly bad time for me to start a relationship and he was cool about it. so we're definitely friends and all that so yay cuz that would suck so bad. grr.

so yeah, i'm covering for tess today at work. 6-close boo. oh well, hopefully it won't be too bad. peace out kids.

Mon, 15 Nov 2004 01:11:09 GMT

hey kids.

what is good. long time i know i know. i'm a bad kid.. i've just been really busy lately. just been going to school, home for a little, work, home. good stuff lol. i like abercrombie. it's fun.. most of the people are really nice and stuff but it can be irritating too lol. oh well, if it gets really bad i'll just try to go to hollister because it'd probably be more fun there. annnyywayy. yeh things have been alright. me and will fight lol but it's all right.. we're all good. he got me this cute bear thing haha. cuteee. so yeah. friday i went to jordan's with sam and sam.. wow, won't get into that. ~~"who did i fall for.. not the same person"~~ g-a-y but what can you do. oh well. saturday i hung out with will. we just chilled at dans. that kid is funny and he totally sprayed patty HARDCORE with a huge water gun.. so funny but messed up. lol and they had an intense game of something idk it was odd. i just chilled and came home around 12. today me and samuel went to hollywood tans and met up with kristy and laura and we all went tanning because kelly is the man and is cool like that lol. then me and sam went to pizza hut where the guy knows our order lol [sad] and then just chilled at her house. good times.. good music lol.. sad bears. boo haha. then we stopped at kristys to get a cd she burned for sam and then she dropped me home. i'ma go shower and straighten the hair and then study for english hopefully. good times. peace out bitches.

> sOmEtiMeS i jUsT cAn'T eXpLaiN .. aLl tHe wAyS yOu -; dEvEsTaTe * mE //

Fri, 05 Nov 2004 23:05:02 GMT

hey!

what is good. me = in love with 3 day weeks. lol i think that every week should have 3 days. for reall. so yeh, wednesday night me and sam went to the feild hockey game to watch my loves play for the last time. sad. they did really good though ;o] i was silently cheering for katie. haha. so yeah, go LOVES! after that me and sam left without knowing where we were gonna go and got behind matt algo so i decided that we would just follow him. so we followed him honking until the light on central lol and then sam got out of the car and she was gonna bang on their window. but willo had the same idea and he got out so they switched and me and will continued to follow matt and sam. we went to paramus or something and then eric t called me and told me to go back to the school parking lot and everyone was just chillin there or something so we went back there. i drove the jeep haha and a few ppl drove my car. what a badass. ;P so yeah. after a little of that me and sam went uptown and willy and corey and a bunch of ppl were there so we talked to them for a while. danny farelli sat in my car and ate some pizza lol i haven't talked to corey in forever so that was cool. he's one of my favorites. after that me and sam went to the twin's house and carolina and samk were there. just looked at some pictures and then went to the movies to see saw. the acting was soo bad lol but the end was soo good. idk. i'm not gonna lie, i was pretty scared in some parts. haha. came home at like 12.

yesterday i just chilled most of the day and then sam called me and told me that i had to go in to abercrombie cuz she talked to dave and stuff.. idk lol. so i went there and talked to dave and filled out some paperwork and stuff. ;o] so yeah. after that i came home and then a little after that i picked up sam and we went back to the mall. i wanted to get something but i ended up not getting anything lol weird. so then we went to wendy's and ate and then went back to her house. then we went to jules. just chilled. i got home around 12:3O.

today i went to abercrombie at 9. ahh, i was kinda scared lol. today was a crazy day there too because they had the models that are on the walls there. this one guy that was really stupid lol but hot and mallory from the real world paris. weird. i totally didn't noticed that was her until i saw her in person. she seemed nice and she's really pretty. her hair is like blonde now. cool BEANS. so yeah. i just folded and greeted and all that good stuff. there were a bunch of people that work at different stores there since it was an odd day and stuff. they were all really cool. i made my schedual and stuff and left at like 3. i had a good first day lol. i think im'a like it there and stuff. everyone seems really nice. i just wish i got to work with kt & sarah. boo. but oh well.. maybe i'll work in the kids store one of these days.

so yeah, idk whats going on tonight. it's so cold. i'll probably just end up hanging out with will. peace out playas!

> s0 wE bOtTLEd aNd sHeLvEd aLl oUr rEgReTs, LeT tHeM fErMeNt aNd cAmE bACk tO oUr sEnSeS..

Sun, 31 Oct 2004 22:53:26 GMT

hello.

happy halloween ;o] .. i'm not that big of a fan though now a days. but yeah. go for it. updating for samuel once again. i swear that's the only reason i do this anymore lol. nothing new is really going on. school's alright. i dressed up on friday. catholic school girl holla. so freaking overdone but it was still cute. got a few compliments which is always nice. friday night me and sam just went to will's. dave was back this weekend from miami. so odd. he thinks i'm the most random girl ever. haha. it was just a chill night. nothing happened really. yesterday i went to dan's with will for like an hour cuz at 1O i came back and me and sam went to john and anthony's halloween party. get em. i didn't dress up but they wouldn't let people in if they didn't have costumes on so i just said i was a hollister worker. always thinking.. haha. so yeah. it was a good time. freaking JiMMY was there. soooo weird. totally didn't recognize him. we met him when we met john and anthony like 2 years ago down the shore. wow. haha. he's an intersting kid, hard worker that one. lol yeh so it was cool. when we left, owen and andy walked us to sams car and they are too funny. "WHAT'S UP CHS?!.. AND WHAT'S UP TO YOU TOO" "PUT EM ON IF YOU GOT EM.. THAT'S RIGHT, I'M THE ONLY ONE!" "isn't that the kid that's 25 and always has his underlights on?.. he has the same teacher ALL day.. how does he cut?" ".. tomorrow i'm gonna be like, 'why was i talking about my underlights so much?'" oh man.. soooooooooo funny. my tummy hurt soo much from laughing it was ridiculous. so i slept at samuel's and yeh. cool stuff. i left there this afternoon and just have been chilling. i love me some barb! haha. she's the man. i finished reading what i needed to for english by tuesday and i just ate a bunch of candy and stuff. fun times. alright i'm gonna go and stuff. byee* <3

Thu, 28 Oct 2004 00:37:15 GMT

hm.. howdy. ;o)

Fri, 22 Oct 2004 22:10:12 GMT

i got my car ;o] yay!

-; iF wE cUt OuT tHe [ b A d ] .. wElL tHeN wE'd hAvE [ n O t H i N g ] LeFt << //

Thu, 14 Oct 2004 23:10:24 GMT

hey there!

what is go0d!? today was such a bummy day. it was like black out when i woke up and i don't wake up that early so i was all blah and didn't feel like getting ready and wore a sweatshirt for the first time all year. holla. i'm surprised i made it this long. so yeah. second period i had a college assembly for u.conn. idk, didn't really make me wanna go there that bad. that guy was weird. mechanical drawing was really boring like normally. psychology was funny as hell. he has the best stories ever. ".. and the next day her eyebrows were gone.. i was like.." soo funny. english was alright. kinda boring. lunch was alright lol me and ana make nice time ;o] health was good. i had to do my presentation thingy today. i didn't studder or anything so that was a plus. art was alright. adam and i were very focused today lol. fun stuff. after school samuel and i went tanning and then to starbucks. cool beans. and then i just came home and have been wasting my life away. i studied a little for health but barely and then i studied a good amount for english. i'm so not looking forward to that test tomorrow and i refuse to look like a moron in front of the whole class lol. so i'm gonna study more for that in a little. i think i might dye my hair again. it got all light again and stuff so i'm pretty sure i'm gonna do that. maybe this weekend though, if i don't tonight. so now i'm just talking to william and chillin for a little. yeah, he's such a punk. ;o] lol

okiiee, i'm gonna go. peace suckas! <3 ;P

yeh, you ~~stabbed~~ me to death.. aMaNdA *

[hcumamrakmmh] .. ~~but that's your line isn't it?~~

Thu, 14 Oct 2004 19:13:44 GMT

dude!

how about someone updates or something >;o] grr..

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 11:23:29 GMT

it's my birfday! >;o] .. annnndddd i have my license!! yippie! thank you sooo much to everyone who said happy birthday and wished me luck and all and everyone that texted me it was very unexpected and stuff. made me all warm inside loll <33

.. LeARNiNg hOw tO [ L O V E ] i'M -; m E l T i N g *

Sun, 10 Oct 2004 05:22:03 GMT

hi kids.

tonight was alright. at like 8:45 sam picked me up and we went back to her house so she could get ready to go out. we left for travis's at like 9:45-ish? i don't remember. we got there around 1O i think. ana met us outside because she is my whore for life. lol and then crystal met us at the door. i love that slut!! <33 so yeah, travis's was alright.. i haven't seen most of those kids out of school in SOO long it's ridiculous so that was cool. e.i. for life with kelly. gina is my nigga lolll. & kristy is just soo freaking funny it's crazy. so yeah. there were mad people in there and stuff. it was cool for a while. then it was mad gay.. got all sad/upset/mad/pissed off/sucidal/nauseous because of events but whatever.. the world knows how i stand on that issue. i deal. um yeah, so at like 10:3O me and sam drove billy/willy home and then went to will's. him, jules, and mike were just chillin on his steps. will was being mad WEiRD. grr, so that blew. then they dropped mike off and we went to jules's. we just hung out and did normal 'we're at jules's' activities. will stoped being weird so that was a plus. we left at like 12:45 and yeah.. now i'm home. hm.. just felt like updating now about stuff instead of tomorrow so yeah.. peace out SLUTS.

yhafyyfw?HAHAHAHAHA..bib!

WHY CUTS AREN'T HEALING _ aMaNdA *

PUNCH ME IN THE FACE THEN.. haha pshh

-; & mY bReAtHiNg rAcEs wHeN yOu mEnTiOn [[ B L U E ]] * //

Sat, 09 Oct 2004 18:35:53 GMT

hell0o!

two updates in two days.. someone is on a roll. holler lol. yesterday at like 8:3O me and sam went to jules's house. him and jay were outside. there was like no where to park so we were going to attempt to sqeeze into this small spot and i stood between her car and the other one and i got ran over lolll. it was so funny. my knee kinda hurts now but not really, it's my fault. i was laughing like BACK UP hahahaha. it was fun. so we decided that wasn't working so jay attempted to parallel park it but he had trouble with her car and stuff. it was funny. that kid = seriously one of the funniest i've ever met i think. so we got in jules's car and were going to dan's and we were at red light. jay's window was open and a bunch of asians were on the corner like 5 feet away from us and he starts going "Chinese.. chinese.. chinese.." like pointing at them. it was really funny lol. then this guy let us turn and he was like "yeh, thats right, we have a mercades.. THANK YOU" idk. that kid.. wow haha. so we just chilled at dan's. it was me, sam, will, jules, mike, dan, tatiana, tonya, and frank, tom, dave, and jay were there for a little. yeh.. i was so tired, i almost fell asleep a couple of times. sammmm i'm happy for you lol ;D .. we came home at like 12:3O.

i'm pretty positive i have a car lol. it's a black altima. i dunno what year it is lol, i think its like late 9O's. its cute.. has everything i wanted and it was very cheap which is good ;o] then i can get my brandy new car when i turn 18. holler. it has tints and a cd player and air conditioning and that was basically all i wanted lol. it has a sunroof too so yeah.. yay. glad that search is over. it was mad gay. i'm starting to get so scared! 3 days! holy crap. lol. tonight after sam gets off of work i think we're going to travis's for a little since we didn't go last weekend. after that me and sam and maybe kristy are gonna prolly go to ridgefeild and shit.. mad hot son.

idk, i'm gonna go maybe do some homework but doubtful.. i'll prolly just lay around like a fat ass. peace out ;-

smile.. haven't seen him smile in a while * aMaNdA <3

-; & wiLl y0u'Re LoVe LiGhT bUrN mE _ bAbY*? .. bUrN a hOlE riGhT tHrOuGh mY hEaRt?

Fri, 08 Oct 2004 18:50:23 GMT

hey kids.

.. no one ever updates anymore lol. so i've just been following the trend. ;P not much has been going on. this week has been alright for the most part. kinda long but eh, what can you do. school's always the same. mrs. wozniak isn't coming back for the rest of the year or something. i heard a bunch of different stories but yeah, i just hope she's alright ;o\ so that class has been gay as hell since we don't really have a teacher, just a sub. and we still have work and tests and stuff, even though no one is teaching us the work. lol g-a-y. me and bradley just chill and do what we can since we're nice like that lol. he's awesome. mechaincal drawing is alright. kinda boring but i'd much rather it be like this and easy then really hard. christine has problems lol, but it's just really funny. psych. is good. that class is fun. mr. calise = funny guy lol. he has the best stories and me and matt algo just pass notes and stuff. "merry christmas, happy holidays.. ba rump a bum bum" haha. fun. english is alright. we have mad stuff to do in that class but it's like the only class that i have work in so it's alright. had a test today. i think i did alright. i was really tired and stuff so when i handed in my test she asked me if i was alright and stuff lol. that was nice. lunch is cool. me and ana just chill. health is pretty fun.. we just all talk in that class and stuff. brian is a moron so thats always entertaining. art is alright, me and adam just are weird and stuff. fun. the last 3 days after school i've chilled with will so that's cool lol. i think i found my car, not positive though. 4 days ahh, crazy! i'm scurred. i'm using sams car for the test haha. awesome. people are so gay and stuff.. i really am excited for college. can't wait to get away from this town. i really doubt that i'm gonna be homesick either.

g-a-y.. u think that you're the one that hates me when in reality my hatred for you is on a completely different level, i really don't even think that you could even imagine my dislike for you. you're still the one that isn't talking to me? keep thinking that but that's not how it is anymore. i'm the one not talking to you now.. or ever again, straight up. do you even have a reason to hate me? no.. you definitely don't. you think i was "playing" you or something gay like that? i wasn't even anything with will when all this shit went down and that could have been explained a month and a half ago but you're so fucking stubborn and now it doesn't even matter because you fucked shit up for good. not me. i'm sorry that my grandma was dying and you weren't my first priority.. how selfish of me. whatever, i hope you choke on her tounge. damn, and to think that i loved you.. it's funny how drastically things.. or PEOPLE.. can change huh? i'm sooo much happier with my life without you in it and i hope you always remember that.

it was soo pretty today but i'm in a weird mood.. BOO0O! .. but yay, it's friday.. so that's fun. idk, i think i'm gonna go take a nap or something that a pansy would do.. peace out suckas! <3

* d0 yU wAnNa tAkE mE oN? .. aMaNdA ;-

Mon, 04 Oct 2004 01:55:21 GMT

hey kids!

another update for the one and only soul mate samantha manning. <33

i haven't updated in a while.. i know, i've been meaning to but my computer is anti-amanda and mucho slow so i just haven't. yeh. so let's see. thursday was alright i guess.. i don't really remember. me and sam went to the feild hockey game [g0 cOMETs lol] my girls killed it but lost ;o\ it's all good. the ref was g-a-y. um, after i just came home. will was supposed to go with me to the game but he got sick that day and went home from school early. poor kid lol.

friday was go0d! finally october. so exciting. i love october for obvious reasons and september was just so horrible october is bound to be better. so yeah. it was all pretty out too. school was pretty good i think and i was just happy and stuff. after school i got some bad news though ;o\ my doggie has cancer! grr.. idk i thought that i had enough death and stuff for at least a month but maybe not. sad. friday night i went with sam to dan's for mike's birthday. it was fun. i drank and stuff. we were supposed to go to travis's a little later for kristy's thingy but it was all late and i completely forgot after i talked to crystal and by the time i remember it was already like 11:3O and it would have been gay if we went then. so yeah. still gotta give kristy her present! >;o]

yesterday was alright. i didn't do anything all day and then i just waited and waited for sam to get out of work. damn child labor lol. we went to jules's house at like 1O:30. crazy. we just chilled there and watched here on earth and stuff. weird commercials and that girl is really pretty lol. came home at like 1:3O.

today was pretty boring. i woke up and just hung around. i was supposed to go driving with my dad once he got home but when he finally came home he didn't feel like it so PSH, whatever. lol. me and sam were gonna go to barnes and noble to study for our english vocabulary quiz because we desperately want to be cool but we got lost kinda. we ended up on the same street as last time we were lost and i remembered how we got home and stuff thank goodness lol. " what would i do without you.. not drive anywhere, that's what i would do. " lol, oh man.. ur crazy. so we gave up on that and decided to get ice cream lol. so we went to dairy barn, i nearly choked to death while sam was laughing at me and this weird guy was standing by the car just staring until i scared him away with my coughing. lol. odd. so after that sam drove me to will's. she was supposed to chill with jules but he smells and likes to leave paintball mad late and stuff. so boo to him. so me and will just chilled there and watched a little tv. i met his mommy lol. she's nice. we left there and i just gave him a tour of maywood. fun stuff. annnddd we're going out now. how weird right? hahaha. amanda has a boyfriend. craaazzzzzyy! it's cool though, i'm happy! ;o] and that is all that matters. so ha.

alright yeah. that's it. peace out fooooools. <33

_ i'M LyiNg tO mYsELf & tHiS *dAgGeR's mY eXcUsE.. i'M aPaLlEd ;-

Wed, 29 Sep 2004 01:37:58 GMT

hey there!

i hate tuesdays.

today was yucky. i woke up mad tired because some people like to keep me on the phone until obsene hours. i guess i'll let it slide because you're cute though. haha. so yeah. it was gross out, i couldn't pick something to wear, and the phone kept ringing really annoyingly. grr. school just blows, so boring and stuff.. bored and tired all day, not fun. pre calc was pretty boring but still funny cuz jt, david, and brian are forever just talking about loving brad and david was singing to him and stuff. funny. mechanical drawing was kinda boring like always but whatever. psyc. was funny.. that movie is nuts. matt algo likes to be mad at me but not really mad at me and try to not laugh when i talk to him. i totally got it out of him though. english was alright. i think i'm gonna like othello. relates to my life right now a lot. haha. lunch was alright, scary driving back in the downpour and the hydroplaning-ness lol. wow. health was alright. kinda makes me scared about doing drugs.. kinda. haha. art was alright. i'm getting annoyed at the project i'm doing right now but i should finish it by tomorrow. came home after school and was tired and bored like 5 minutes after getting here. so i was watching the surreal life and fell asleep. my cell phone was by my head though so will called me at 4 and woke me up. i went to the bergen/don bosco soccer game with him and tonya to support mike. lol. raul, jules, tati, and dan met us there. and then we met up with alex. mike killed it and had an assist. they won 1-0. GET EM. haha. i was soo wet and cold though, it was ridiculous lol. so yeah, i got home aruond 6:3O and talked on the phone with sam until a little while ago. i'm gonna just watch tv, take a shower, and then sleeeeeeep. ;o]

-; aMaNdA <3

Mon, 27 Sep 2004 19:51:02 GMT

hey kids.

long time no update i know. sorry. things have been good and bad. i've made up my mind that this september was probably one of the worst months that i've ever had. ;o\ at least it's almost over. found some fucked up shit out the other day. not gonna be immature and stuff about it, i just hope that it was worth it for you. <|3 lately i've just been going to ridgefeild and stuff. good times. i was so fucked up saturday it was pretty intense lol. wow. haha. yeah, i don't even feel like updating so idk why i am.. peace.

i'Ve gOt a bROkEn nECk sEnSe oF mOrALiTy -;- iT cLaShEs wiTh yOuR bLoOd LuSt sEnTiMeNtALiTy

Wed, 15 Sep 2004 00:33:27 GMT

hell0o.

whats go0d folks? hm, i'd say overall today was a pretty damn good day. that's always good for a change, lol. my schedual is finally all fixed and stuff, thank goodness lol. now i no longer have ap bio, a study, or miss manning. instead i have work release, ms. wozniak, and mechanic drawing. haha me and christine kill it in that class. it's like us, brock, and 4 boys i've never seen before. it's funny.. hopefully won't be too bad though, i don't think it will be. so yeh, i'm very pleased. ms. manning wasn't even too bad when she signed the paper thing, so that was pleasant. i was so bored after school it was insane. and i was really tired too but i didn't wanna sleep because then i wouldn't be able to sleep tonight. and now i'm not that tired, so this is gay. but yeah. tomorrow is ana's birthday! ;o]

happy birthday ana!

yay.. that's exciting. and no school thursday and friday. yay jewish people are awesome. AND i don't have to go down the shore for my cousins wedding until saturday morning opposed to friday night and i can go out friday now. so i'm happy. um, yeah.. so i'm gonna go do nothing `.· bye <3

Sat, 11 Sep 2004 01:42:20 GMT

hey kids.

i dedicate this entry to the one and only samantha manning. this one is for you baby. lol

so thursday was pretty bad. i don't really wanna live it again so we'll just leave it at it was a very difficult day for me.. harder than i even thought it was going to be but i'm alright and stuff. after the funneral and stuff i came home and at like 3:3O will picked me up. we just chilled at his house for a little. his doggie lola is a very vicious little thing. she loves biting my toes. it kinda hurts lol.. still mad cute though ;o] he drove me home at like 6 cuz he had to get his haircut for school. yikes. lol, i haven't seen it yet and he wont tell me how short he got it because he's a big bully like that. i went and picked up my vocabulary list from samuel's house because she is my caretaker and got it for me. i love you baby. lol and just came home and chilled.

today was an alright day at school. i got there a little late because sam likes to sleep until 8:3O lol but it's alright, i didn't get in trouble or anything so it's all good. the senior assembly was first and second period. they just kept talking lol. right after that i went to guidence since i have study 3rd ne way. she said that there isn't going to be a problem switching everything but she needed to talk to mr. bernardo or something and he wasn't there so it should all be done by monday or tuesday. yay. physcology was fun. i was mr. ed lol english was alright, she kinda scares me and i forgot one thing that was on the stupid quiz but it's okay. lunch was interesting. may drove me and ana to anas so we could illegally take her car to lunch lol we're raw. we went to marios were there was like a party. like everyone who has my lunch period was there. crazy. so me and ana drove back to school and were rebels and all that. gym was boring like always, just sat there. i gave crystal my love my senior picture.. wrote some touching words on the back. i love that girl. <33 art was fun.. it was my first day there lol. we drew 3d things. i love mr. L. he's the man. tony won't shut up in that class but me and adam just ignore him, lol. good stuff. i didn't go to pre calc cuz i'm switching my schedual and i'm a badass. ;x whatever.

idk what i'm doing tonight.. sams picking me up and then idk. i wanna see will's hair! i think those kids are going to some party though so idk.. psh.

<3

O YEH MY HAIR IS BROWN. like all of it. ;D i like it!!

Thu, 09 Sep 2004 02:00:34 GMT

school BLOWS. i have manning again as of right now. i talked to my guidence counciler though and she said that i can switch out thank god. so i'm dropping ap bio and changing my pre calc class .. getting work release and i have to pick another elective to take. i think i'm gonna be hardcore with autoshop or woodshop hahaha get em. tonight was part 2 of the wake. i was really good most of the time. i was there 2-4 and then went to my moms cousins house and ate and played with the children. me and my cousin mike were playing with this toy .. it was fun lol. went back at like 7-9:3O. i cryed at the end.. saying bye and stuff since i dont think i'll have a chance to alone tomorrow. not looking forward to tomorrow. i'm gonna be a mess ;o[ oh well.. after all that i might chill with will before he gets his hair cut. ahh, thats gonna be weird.. the shortness and stuff. so yeah, life isn't that great right now but i have my prioritys straightened out and a lot of things are good. so yeah. byee

Fri, 03 Sep 2004 23:16:46 GMT

so i got to the hospital at 5:45. the desk people said we had to wait until 6 to go up. got upstairs by 6:O5 only to be greeted by my aunt who says my grandma died a few minutes before. so now my grandma is dead and i didnt get to say bye. tough day.. ;o\

edit: i changed a lot of this entry .. i didn't want to come off the way i did. idk i'm just a mix of emotions and they aren't good ones. idk..

Fri, 03 Sep 2004 16:41:23 GMT

stole this from samk ;P

Type your name with your....

-; nose: qamanda

;- elbow: amanda

-; chin: amandca

;- palm: amanda

-; tongue: amanda

;- foot: qam,andqa << i have socks on lol

-; eyes closed with one finger: anabsa

> not too bad if i say so myself. last night me and sam went to ridgefeild at like 1O. just chilled at dans. he likes to run over paint cans and stuff. watched this weird movie. it was like kids part 2 but it wasn't. weird stuff. lol yeh. got home around 1:30. going to the hospital today. i really don't want to but i know that if i don't i'll never be able to forgive myself. so yeah. gotta do that ;o\ yeah, that's it. i'll update more later.